Baldywood: A review of "Final Destination: Bloodlines" // What to Stream this Weekend // A Brad Pitt Actor Redundancy // "Reddit? Did it!"
"Remember, his taste sucks..."
Hello! And welcome to the Baldywood Newsletter. A place for movie lovers.
I love writing about movies and recommending them to people, so if you know anyone who you think would enjoy it, please feel free to send it to anyone you like!
In this Edition:
A review of “Final Destination: Bloodlines”
“What should I stream this weekend?”
“Reddit? Did it!”
Actor Redundancy of the Week
Let’s get started!
“Final Destination: Bloodlines”
Confession time: I love the “Final Destination” movies. Actually, scratch that. A confession is an admission of guilt, and I do NOT feel guilty about my love for these masterpieces. So when the sixth movie in the series (and the first since 2011) was announced for this summer, I was elated.
Let me be clear: The “Final Destination” movies are comedies first. Horror movies second. As satisfying as it may be to a horror audience, the excessive violence and gore is absolutely hilarious; so over-the-top that no rational adult could take it seriously.
But the secret sauce - the good stuff - of these movies is the (often comically and needlessly) elaborate setups. Rube Goldberg-esque sequences where a drop of water or gust of wind leads to the massacre of an unsuspecting teenager. I said it on my podcast “The Film Vault,” and I 100% stand by it: These movies should be taught in introductory classes at film schools.
But enough waxing! I saw “Final Destination: Bloodlines,” and I’m happy to say that it delivered exactly what it promised: Absurd setups. Ridiculous deaths. And just the right amount of self-awareness. This movie is legitimately funny: I (and several audience members) laughed out loud numerous times.
If you have never seen a “Final Destination” movie and you want to jump in with this one but you’re afraid you’ll be lost, rejoice: This is almost a standalone film, with only tangential connections to the previous movies. You should have no problem following the plot, such as it is (it’s made for 16-year old boys, for god’s sake). As for the violence… it’s plentiful. And delightfully ridiculous. If you want a fun time out at the theater, you can’t do much better than this.
Bald Fun Scale™ rating: Off the charts!
Are you seeing “Final Destination: Bloodlines”? Do you enjoy the series? Let me know!
“What should I stream this weekend?”
I’m glad you asked!
I want a smart, funny movie that my spouse will thank me for selecting: ”In a World…”
There is a hyper-specific sub-genre of movies that I secretly love: Movies that feature main characters with fascinating jobs. Like “Pineapple Express,” where Seth Rogen was a process server. Give me more of that! In “In a World…”, Lake Bell plays a film voice over artist who specializes in movie trailers. Thing is, there aren’t very many movie trailers with female voice-overs. In fact, voice-overs in movie trailers is kind of going away completely. Further complicating things: Her dad, played perfectly by Fred Melamed, is something of a legend in the voiceover world.
“In a World…” is a perfect little movie. It’s smart, funny, sweet, observant, and just 93 minutes long. It has both broad humor - some of the characters are archetypes - and pinpoint-precision laughs. The cast - Bell, Malamud, Demetri Martin, Michaela Watkins, Ken Marino, Rob Corddry, Nick Offerman, Big Notaro, Eva Longoria, Geena Davis - all rock it out of the park.
The movie carries an R rating, but it’s a pretty tame R, mostly due to some comical and colorful language. Fire this one up with confidence on date night.
“In a World…” is streaming on Amazon Prime Video
I want an intense thriller about gang violence and redemption: “Sin Nombre”
Since knuckles and MS-13 are in the news, let’s talk about “Sin Nombre,” a white-knuckle ride about MS-13. It was the feature debut of then-unknown writer-director Cary Fukunaga, who would go on to international fame for directing season one of “True Detective,” as well as the excellent James Bond film “No Time to Die.”
“Sin Nombre” tells the story of Willy, nicknamed “El Casper,” an MS-13 gang member in southern Mexico. Despite being deep into gang life - Willy and his friends all have varying degrees of MS-13 facial tattoos - Willy has a crisis of conscience when someone close to him is killed, and he abruptly leaves the gang, traveling on a northbound train. There, he makes an unlikely friend, and the pair take the train towards the US, with Willy’s former fellow MS-13 gang memners in pursuit.
The winner of the Directing Award at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival, “Sin Nombre” is voilent, unrelenting and very, very good. It’s spoken in Spanish with English subtitles, so you’re going to have to do a bit of reading with this one. But it’s well worth the tiny bit of extra effort; “Sin Nombre” is a modern classic.
“Sin Nombre” is available to rent on Amazon Prime Video here
I want a fun documentary about a band I’ve never heard of (but should have): “Anvil! The Story of Anvil”
Here’s how you know a movie is fun: All I have to do is see the title of “Anvil! The Story of Anvil” and I grin. Every time. Like its title, the movie itself is hilarious, dumb, silly, playful and unforgettable. Ironic, too, because the movie is about a band that was mostly forgotten.
In 1984, an up-and-coming metal band called Anvil was on the brink of superstardom. They toured Japan as part of a festival that featured young upstart bands Bon Jovi, Scorpions and Whitesnake. Those groups all went on to varying levels of international fame; Anvil did not. That premise alone would make for an interesting documentary. But “Anvil! The Story of Anvil” (I’m going to use the full title every time, BTW) reaches another level because the band - now in their 50s - are so indefatigably and relentlessly upbeat, still plodding along and playing to mostly-empty bars and concert halls.
“Anvil! The Story of Anvil” is an unflinching look at the fickle nature of fame, but also the undefeatable artist’s spirit. The guys in Anvil are so damn likable, you’re rooting against all odds that these misfits finally “make it,” whatever that even means. It’s unrated, but I don’t recall any truly objectionable material, aside from maybe a few curse words. Mature teens should love “Anvil! The Story of Anvil,” and hopefully you will, too.
“Anvil! The Story of Anvil” is streaming on Paramount+. Not a subscriber? Rent it here for just $1 on Amazon Prime Video.
“Reddit? Did it!”
I love to browse movie forums on Reddit. Recently, a topic was posted to r/MovieCritic that asked, “Movies in which you grew fond of the villain to the point where his death made you sad?” Great topic! So great, in fact, that we covered it on my movie podcast “The Film Vault” in 2013 in an episode titled “Top 5 Sympathetic Villains.” Here is my list:
General Hummel - The Rock (1996)
Roy Batty - Blade Runner (1982)
Brain bug - Starship Troopers (1997)
Grendel - Beowulf (2007)
King Kong - King Kong (1933)
What movies do you love that you don’t ever want to see again?
Actor Redundancy of the Week:
Actor redundancies were first brought to my attention by my former co-worker and all-around swell fella Dave Dameshek, who delighted whenever an actor does the same oddly-specific thing in two separate, non-related movies. Such as…
Brad Pitt plays in a poker game he doesn’t care about in the back room of a bar with people he doesn’t like in “Ocean’s Eleven” and “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”
Want more movie talk? Check out my free weekly podcast “The Film Vault” HERE
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Book a personalized greeting from Bryan on Cameo HERE
Corporate and nonprofit speaking inquiries: BryanBishop.com